ribs like these a?

fearless sometimes

my hope..

maybe when I'm in my 40's I'll have had children.

and maybe those children will say to their friends, "my mom is the best at cutting up avocados."

maybe one day I'll look like Dolly Parton.

maybe one day my name will be Judith Todd.

a haiku

it's seven a.m., cat.
love a good staring contest.
yes, you always win.

SO WHAT?

So what if Big Muff Fuzz Pedal makes me giggle every time?

An out of context quote overheard on Riddle Road this morning.

"I mean I'll go. But if you think I'm showing up just to take pictures of your giant who-ha, then it's a no."

We can all be naughty sometimes..

Even these ladies. Especially these ladies. 

there's a season for everything (or some shit)

☁☂✁✂✃♡☤☝✍♥

making pies.

Kimi Young, what did you see? What are you seeing now?
Whatever it was, you must have wanted to run to it and stay. I don't blame you for that. We saw Where the Wild Things Are at the Princess the other day. It was alright. But the part that really got to me, the part that made me think of you, Myles and my grandpa, was at the end when the boy got in the boat to sail back home. The wild things didn't want him to leave because he affected their lives (in a good way). He slept with them in a big pile. He fought with them. He went on adventures with them. He changed things.
But the boy had to leave. His mom was waiting for him. She needed him to be safe with her,
and to kiss him
and touch his hair
and feed him cake. The wild things howled in grief as he sailed away, but they knew it had to happen.
People are howling for you, Kimi. You're home now.

jabba the slut

When I was young, I remember being slightly attracted to Jabba the Hut.
Don't know what this says about me, if it says anything at all.

THIS IS HOW I CHOOSE TO REMEMBER LIFE

the cross, the shoe, and cupid

ALRIGHT
OKAY
UH HUH
AMEN.

this man just fired me

AUGUST 2007- WICKER PARK, CHICAGO

but God was not in the fire
but God was not in the wind
but God was not in the earthquake
He came, instead, as a still, small voice
singing me to sleep.

wurk cumput3r pix

Here are some gems that I've saved on my work computer throughout the years:





As you can tell, my emotions run deep.

I've never been to Nebraska...

and, honestly, I have no desire to. However, it's been coming up a lot lately. According to wikipedia Kool-Aid was created there in 1927, so how bad could it be?

"The five largest ancestry groups in Nebraska are German (38.6%), Irish (12.4%), English (9.6%), Swedish (4.9%), and Czech (4.9%). Nebraska has the largest Czech-American population (as a percentage of the total population) in the nation. German-Americans are the largest ancestry group in most of the state, particularly in the eastern counties. Thurston County (made up entirely of the Omaha and Winnebago reservations) has an American Indian majority, and Butler County is one of only two counties in the nation with a Czech-American plurality"

When I was young I had a half Czech friend named, Daniella. Her birthday was may 22 and she could be a real big bitch, but for the most part she was kinda cool. She was my best friend for a handful of years. Our very first conversation went a little something like this, "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" etc. 

We didn't mesh very well. 

Actually, now that I think about it, the first and only time I ever peed my pants was in the bathroom of her house. I told her mom that I just spilled my water, but the next thing I knew my pants were hanging up in the shower and I was mortified and wearing Daniella's fish-pattern shorts. I used to embarrass easily. 

I also used to get mad about little things a lot easier, too. Yesterday a man cut me off as I waited at a red light, to which I calmly replied, "Really?" Which then lead him into a few minutes of, "YEAH REALLY. IF I SAY IT'S GONNA BE THEN THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNNA BE. AND IF I SAY IT, THEN THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE. IT IS HOW I SAY IT WILL BE" and on and on. The more he screamed, the more I laughed and the more I laughed, the more he screamed. It was hilarious and it made me love him. I saw him as a little boy holding onto a basketball and pushing his friend who wants to play away because he doesn't want to share the ball. We're still just little kids in big people clothes, sometimes not wanting to share, but always wanting to find someone to mesh with. 

I wonder what Daniella's doing right now? 

Oh, wait, no I don't. I never did give her those shorts back.

real friendz

Christina Rossetti

WHO HAS SEEN THE WIND?
NEITHER I NOR YOU;
BUT WHEN THE LEAVES HANG TREMBLING,
THE WIND IS PASSING THROUGH.
WHO HAS SEEN THE WIND?
NEITHER YOU NOR I;
BUT WHEN THE TREES BOW DOWN THEIR HEADS,
THE WIND IS PASSING BY.

nevermind.
I'll just dance.

pre-panic attack rant

It's not that I don't enjoy school, I just wish I had a little time to read something non required. To curl up and finally finish Lolita or a Chiam Potok book or Isaiah. That's not to say that I don't enjoy learning about Freudian humor and Kafka and Aristophanes, I just want to do it according to my own timing.
College politics and bullshit are exhausting- especially when someone takes a vast and interesting subject like Anti-Semitism and, somehow, manages to make it one of the most boring.
Seriously, here's what it's like every Tuesday and Thursday. My professor supplies the dead horse then we, as "young scholars", supply the bats, and for an hour and twenty minutes we BEAT AND BEAT AND BEAT the dead horse. Then we analyze the experience of beating the dead horse and how we might apply it to outside sources available in Langsam library. His only redeeming quality is that he slightly resembles George Clooney's ugly and less charming brother.
Not all of this whole college experience is terrible. Like today for example, when an unsuspecting, overweight & underdressed, divorced mom had to read her response to Philip Roth's The Breast in front of class. I had to put my head down because I felt like I had somehow walked into the sex scene of a Danielle Steele novel. That wasn't the best part though, oh no, it was the girl behind me's comment that was GOLD:
"It sounds to me like you ENJOY the penis, you want to USE the penis, you just don't want TO BE the penis"
I screamed on the inside. Even the professor was embarrassed- and she's laughed at a rape joke in class.
The now flushed, dirty mommy's response?
"Yep! That's about right!!"
Yeah, it's moments like those that make everything worth it.

Panic Mode: ON

UPDATE:

wise blood

I need you to do me a favor.

First, I want you to go here and listen:
http://wiseblood.bandcamp.com/

Secondly, I want you to go here and listen more:
http://www.myspace.com/wisebloodwivesblood

Lastly, I want you to go here and download:
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zykwzhmgnmf

And if it's not too much trouble, I want you to go out into the streetz and tell all your friends about wise blood.
I know it's a lot. It's just that have faith in you.
Thank you & you're welcome.